malicious delicious
by canis arctos
Summary: ONESHOT Leah Clearwater was dangling by a thread, and who better to cut that last strand than herself? Snip, snip, baby. TW for attempted? suicide. Dark.


**malicious delicious  
**

Summary: Leah Clearwater was dangling by a thread, and who better to cut that last strand than herself? Snip, snip, baby.

a/n: just a quick drabble. I love Leah, she is undoubtedly my favorite character in SM's works. I truly think there are parts of this girl that are damaged to the point of no return, not that I don't hope for a better future for her, though!

* * *

Leah leaped up onto a large rock, enjoying the speed and efficiency in her every move. Her wolf form may have been smaller than the others in the pack, but she was pretty agile despite that. No one else had shifted, not this early in the morning, anyway. It worked out well enough; she had her mind to herself and had complete physical freedom.

She snarled loudly, for no other reason than to hear it. She bared her teeth at a butterfly that dared to flutter in front of her face, before snapping her jaws millimeters from its shimmering wings. _I have no need to kill someone else, just me._ The last part came out of nowhere, and Leah was a bit surprised at how easily the idea came to her, but wasn't against the idea now that she had thought of it.

Her lithe legs moved quicker now, but not out of haste, more of something akin to excitement. This sensation was mostly unfamiliar to her, she hadn't felt it since... Well, no need to go there, anyway.

This morning would belong to no one else but her, she decided.

As she moved at a brisk pace through the forest, her gaze scanned the vicinity alertly, her eyes taking in every detail. Her gaze scanned the harsh wrinkles of the tree trunks, the tiniest drops of moisture left over from the night's rain, the pine cones that had fallen from the branches not too long ago. She quickened her pace, as though fleeing an aggressor – no, she didn't like that analogy. No, she quickened her pace, as though chasing her prey. Chasing her fate.

It was about damned time she wasn't on the receiving end of destiny, yes, this time she would be the one to choose, the one to decide. _She_ was in control, this was _her_ plan, _her_ choice, _her _decision. She might have been dangling by a thread, but no one else would be the one to cut that last strand and send her into oblivion.

She was running full-speed now, her paws thudding silently against the earth, her long claws uprooting the soil that dared to be in her way. Baring her teeth, she snapped at the air, growling low and deep within her throat.

She had never felt more powerful, never felt more alive.

Well, that was only partially true.

She had felt powerful before, felt alive before, perhaps more than she did now. But that was in a past life, a different reality.

A better reality? _Hmmm._ She wasn't sure if it really was, she had been naïve then, naïve to think she might have lived happily forever. Happiness wasn't forever. It was fleeting, cold and cruel, a sure warning of soon-to-come pain.

That was a different Leah. The new Leah didn't have time to wish to be the old Leah. These two Leahs were far too different to be compared, too different to switch places ever again. The new Leah had risen from the ashes of the old Leah, had taken on a different shape and outlook. Just like one couldn't turn the flames back into the wood it had fed from, the new Leah could never be the old Leah again.

She veered left, sailing easily over a fallen tree and onto a new path. Her nose remained wrinkled in a snarl, her ears pointed straight ahead, her tail daring to raise a bit higher than she normally carried it. No one was around, she could at least pretend to be a lone wolf now.

Fate was trying to lure her away, to tempt her from the task at hand. Her mind was straying, she had to focus. Time could be limited, what if someone else decided to –

Suddenly, she felt her younger brother's presence in her mind. _Seth. _She had to pick up the pace. With herculean effort, she forced her legs to move even faster, her feet hitting the ground harder, pounding it for all the wrongs she had suffered through her life.

_Leah? What's going on?_ She focused wholeheartedly on the dirt beneath her, memorizing the patterns in the soil with each meter covered. _Are you near the cliffs?_ He must have recognized the way the ground looked, damn his memory.

Banking right, she easily leaped and ducked through the natural obstacle course, underneath overgrown branches, over fallen forest debris. Not too far from here, she would make her own answer.

_Where are you going? _How quickly he became concerned, how easily he softened. How easily she was able to distract herself with her own paws, which wouldn't have even been a blur to the human eye, they moved too quickly for humans to even track their movement, it would have been like they weren't there at all. _Damn it, Leah. What is going on? I don't care about your paws, I have some of my own, you know?_

The salty wind ruffled her silken fur, and she inhaled deeply as she sprinted along the edge of the uppermost cliff. This was the cliff they never leaped from, thanks to the large number of massive rocks at the ridiculously long way down to the bottom – rocks that were almost cliffs in their own right, standing strong against the waves that crashed into them. _Perfect._

_Leah? Leah! Leah, what are you – don't jump! Nononononono. Leah! Dammit, Le-  
_

_Too late._

Leah jumped.

She shifted into human form the moment there was nothing but air beneath her, to block out Seth.

The natural instinct was to flail, to reach for any kind of thing to grab, to break the fall. Leah managed to ignore her own survival instinct, she was calling the shots, after all.

She looked up moments before her fall ended, the massive expanse of startlingly blue sky – the clouds seemed to have parted this morning just for her – reflecting in her dark eyes.

Now, she would feel herself break one more time.


End file.
